Heavy Heart...

Another school year has started...
I am not one of those moms who can’t wait for school to start, never have been, never will be.
I love my kids, I love having them home, with me. Summer always goes by so fast. Even Brielle said this past weekend she wishes the winter went by as fast as the summer.
It’s always been a struggle for me, even before I had kids! I guess I need a different outlook.
We have kids and try our best to raise them and mold them into respectful, kind human beings.
They still seem so small to me when we have to, in a sense, turn them over to others to watch, care for and teach them.
It feels like they are with them, more than they are with me.
Once kids start school they change so much, right before my eyes. Some good changes, others not.
Brielle is my most laid back, go with the flow child. This year she was a bundle of nerves and apprehension. She came out of her room crying the night before school started. It broke my heart.
As we got ready for the first day of school, she was doing better at home. Once we arrived however, she became quiet and meek.
How do we find the balance between loving and somewhat sheltering our kids, yet raise them to be strong, independent people? Perhaps she needs a confidence booster, I’m really not sure.
She mentioned over the weekend that she wished there was a field trip on the first day of school, as that would make it a lot more fun.
Some great logic comes from that little girl. She teaches me new things all the time.
Like kids on the first day of school, we all have things that make us apprehensive and nervous. Maybe we should keep that in mind when we deal with other people in our lives.
You never know what struggle people are dealing with. Keep that in mind as you come across others throughout the day.
Smile at strangers, be kind and friendly. Take the time to check in on those you love. Let them know how much they mean to you.
This past weekend we had friends get married. It was a lake ceremony and I was the photographer. It was beautiful!
I don’t normally photograph weddings, as they are out of my comfort zone. It’s a high pressure job, one that can’t be re-done.
The couple and wedding party were amazing. As I joined the party for pictures before the wedding, I was greeted with a hug.
These two are truly an inspiration and I am so blessed to have them be a part of my life.
I wish there were more people like that in the world. Congrats and best wishes on many happy years together!
As for me... my heavy heart will lighten with time. I hope my kids come home from school, full of excitement for the year ahead.
This will be a rough year for us. I am more than ready to start school myself. I can’t wait to submerse myself and test myself on a whole new level. I will be thrown completely out of my comfort zone.
Perhaps that’s what I need. A new start, testing myself. Helping me grow, making me a better mom.
In the meantime, I will leave you with this...

“Be unique, be kind hearted, be extraordinary, be happy, be humble, be free, be the person you were meant to be.”
-unknown

Colorado...

We took a family trip to Colorado last week-weekend. We wanted to spend some time focusing on the kids before I leave for school.
We had a great time! The kids loved it!
We went up through Estes Park and the Rocky Mountains to Grand Lake, CO.
What a beautiful quaint town, I just loved it! Even though I grew up in Colorado, I had never been there before.
We took a trailer with an ATV and a UTV up with us. This made some of the drive up to the top of the mountains a bit rough at times, but well worth it.
The night we arrived, we ate dinner and walked around town a bit. The next morning, we headed back into town for some breakfast. We ate at a place called The Fat Cat Cafe. Karys and I ordered crepes with a cream cheese filling and cool whip and strawberries on top, soaked in strawberry juice.
It was the best crepe I have ever had, it was absolutely amazing!
The town surrounds Grand Lake; you walk a block down from the main street and you can walk the length of a boardwalk or head to the marina.
We started out at the marina with some coffee, then walked down the boardwalk a bit; it was just breathtaking. There were neat old log buildings that housed boats, some sand, crystal clear water and mountains in the background.
We then got in the pickup and headed to some off road trails. This was so much fun. Day one consisted of some trails in our area. They were a fairly easy drive. One of the trails led you to a little over a mile hike to Lost Lake. The hike was at times rough but again so worth it. The lake was beautiful! 
Day two we decided to drive to Winter Park to drive some trails. We wound up running into a very nice couple riding mountain bikes that asked if they could help us. They led us to a trail on Corona Pass. They told us there would be incredible views! This trail also followed an old railroad.
The views were spectacular. We followed a trail so high up the mountains we could see Denver! We came across a hitchhiker on the trail that takes you to the highest point. She had been hiking quite a ways on a very rough road and had stopped us to ask about how far away the old trestle bridge was. We had a nice little chat with her and I gave her a ride back in the direction she had come from.
Her hiking partner was down in that area and he told us to continue a ways to see the old tunnel. It was spectacular also.
On the way back to the cabin that night, we saw a very large moose a couple blocks away from the cabin. What a sight! Once we got back to the cabin, we took a little stroll to another lake.
We spotted two deer in a yard along our walk.
Once we got back to the cabin, I could hear a band in town playing Jimmy Buffett music. I went around to the side of the cabin to sit on the deck and listen for a bit. I heard noise at the cabin right behind ours and thought the neighbors had come out to listen to the music.
I began to wonder what they were doing as the tree just a couple feet away from me was really rustling.  I was about to go ask them if they were listening to the band when my kids and Tanner came out and discovered it was a very large moose! We all took pictures and I followed him for a bit until some kids on a go cart scared him away. What a rush!
I came back to the cabin and took a shower, I no more than got out of the shower when my kids ran into the bathroom to tell me two deer were in the front yard. I cannot tell you just how in love I am with Grand Lake!
The next day, we headed down to Estes Park for a night. We had a room at the Crag’s Historic Lodge. Their slogan is Welcome Home, they live up to this in every way. It was a gorgeous old lodge with gorgeous woodwork and views, and they went out of their way to accommodate you! I hope to go back someday!

Nerves...

We are already into August, how did that happen?
I made the decision months ago to return to school; I am a bundle of nerves and filled with excitment.
Now that August is here and the start of school is just around the corner, it’s starting to hit.
With this return to school, comes a move to Colorado for me.  The kids are staying behind as my school hours are all consuming.
The girls have both received their classroom assignments and all the back-to-school supplies have been purchased.
Karys is excited she has friends in her class and teachers she’s been looking forward to. Brielle, is Brielle, just going with the flow, along for the ride.
The hardest part of school resuming is getting back on schedule.
No more late nights playing outside. No more eating dinner after 8 p.m. It’s always a very rough transition.
This year is so different, not only do I need to get them prepared for school, I also have to get myself prepared and packed.
I hate packing, I always take too much. I don’t even know how to pack for this move. I suppose sort of like a freshman moving into dorms.
I have an apartment that is fully furnished and equipped with everything I need, except my clothes.
I still have some school supplies I need to purchase. Unfortunately, the older you get, the more expensive school supplies get.
 It will be a big change going from the country to the city, no traffic, to traffic jams. All I can say is thank goodness for GPS!
We are getting one last family vacation packed in before school starts. A little time to focus on the kids. I have never been away from them as long as I will be. That will be the hardest part.
Hopefully, Weston will still want something to do with me once it’s all finished.
This past weekend, I spent doing laundry. While I was in Colorado, the kids went to my parents for a long visit. Man does the laundry pile up fast.
I will have it all caught up in time to leave for a week again and start over. The never ending cycle.
I need to go through all the girls clothes; every summer they grow at least three inches and all their clothes are too small.
Back-to-school shopping is always the best part of the return for kids. New clothes, new supplies and new backpacks.
 We are so blessed with such an amazing support system. I know they will be in good hands while I am gone. They have their house, their dad and amazing friends. So many people have offered to help. I can’t express to you all how much that means to me.
While I will be completely out of my comfort zone, it helps knowing they will be in theirs.
So much can change in such a short span of time. If you had asked me a year ago what would be going on now, well... We can’t read or predict our futures. We have to just embrace them and do what we can with what’s been dealt.
It will be interesting to see what life has brought another year from now. In the mean time, it’s best to focus on today. To take things one day at a time.
As children, we are so eager for time to fly by, we spend our days wishing time away...
To all you young people out there, slow down. Embrace each day, even the bad ones. It’s only temporary; life changes so much so fast. Enjoy it while you can.

“It is what I was born for­­–
to look, to listen, to lose myself inside this soft world– to instruct myself over and over...”
-Mary Oliver

Me Time...

 I’ve only ever taken two vacations on my own, this being the second one.
This past weekend, I took a friend up on the use of his family’s cabin in Leadville, CO.
I have known him for 30 years, but hadn’t seen him since about 1997.
We met at a gas station on the west side of Denver so I could follow him to the cabin... thank goodness, I never would have found the place, otherwise.
I had said I wanted a nice quiet weekend in the mountains away from people and electronics.
That is exactly what I got, and it was exactly what I needed.
Scott also had some relatives staying at the cabin, they are from Norfolk, NE (small world). They were so much fun.
Day one was filled with a tour of the area (there were seven lakes surrounding the cabin), visiting with everyone, and some fishing.
I also got to see Turquoise Lake. Wow, it was beautiful. There were a few different lookout places around the lake, so of course I had to check one out.
Again, so pretty, but the short five foot trek took all the air I had. The air is pretty thin above 10,000 feet.
Day two was a designated fishing day. I love the thrill of catching fish, plus I got to stand in a nice clear cold lake and smell the mountain air.
Scott took me out on a boat in the afternoon and at one point, I grabbed the net to help him pull in a fish. Shortly after, I realized I had left my line in the water when my pole moved a few inches. I caught two fish that way.
Day three was a day of fun. There was a zipline down the mountain a little. I love ziplines! I drug Scott along on this one, he had never zip lined before.
The guides were hilarious; they had him terrified before we ever made it up the mountain.
 They take you up in an old army truck; it’s about a half hour drive up small winding roads. There is also a train that goes under one of the ziplines.
This place had six ziplines. Some of them were not so bad, a short easy fall so to speak. There were a couple however that were terrifying, even for me.
It was so much fun, and so worth it. The last zipline was the biggest fall, I was told to hold my legs in a cannonball position to gain more speed.
I almost made it to the platform, but fell a tad bit short. So, I had to grab the cable and pull myself in, one hand after the other. The guide told me I was the first person to ever rescue myself.
There were some fun people on the ziplines, and as I said, the guides were hilarious. Even Scott had a great time, and I think he’s ready to go ziplining again.
We stopped in town to get something to eat after our little adventure. Scott grew up down the street from me, and we had a neighbor that had dogs always sitting on her roof. I had to laugh, as while we were eating outside, there were dogs on the roof of the building next to us.
That afternoon, Scott wanted to go river fishing, and he invited me along. He told me to bring my camera, as there would be a lot of beautiful scenery.
He was right, so pretty; I love the mountains. He fished along the river and I followed a trail along the river with my camera, snapping away. I could spend hours just sitting, listening to the water.
I had a great weekend. I met some new people, caught up with an old friend, breathed in that amazing mountain air, and had some time to sit and reflect.
Is my mind all clear after the weekend, no. Will it ever be? Who knows, but it was still a very nice get away.
I came home with a little more than a handful of fish (the rest were released). I came home with some peace. Everything will work out in the end.